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The Art of the Kitchen Pass |
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Dear Dr. Trout Bum
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Written by Dr. Trout Bum
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Sunday, 02 March 2008 23:34 |
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Dear Dr. Trout Bum -
When I was dating my wife she was more than accommodating whenever I wanted to go out and "wet my line". We've now been married for two years and my time on the water has been reduced from about 50 days per year to around 10. If I go fishing she either goes ballistic before I go or relents but makes my life miserable when I get home. What should I do?
Whipped in West Yellowstone
Dear Whipped,
All of us who participate in any activity that involves the outdoors and are married are eventually confronted by the vast chasm that divides any idea you may have about spending your "free time" and those expectations held by your spouse. What you need is to learn the art of the "Kitchen Pass."
Getting a Kitchen Pass
Kitchen Pass (def.) - 1. Authorization for leave of the household in order to pursue purely manly interests. 2. Official sanctioning of any activity performed outside of the household by the recognized governing body of the kitchen. 3. Permission from your wife or significant other.
The method of getting a Kitchen Pass varies based on the temperament of the woman, stage of the relationship and other "intangible" issues. This may be as simple as bringing her flowers or taking her to a nice dinner. However, it can be far more complicated. You may have to force yourself to watch Meg Ryan or Sandra Bullock movies. Are there any work projects you've promised to do but haven't finished? Finishing these may earn a Kitchen Pass (or, if you've been really bad, it may just reduce your "pass deficit"). Sending her out for "women's night out" or on a small shopping spree are often effective methods. The point is this: you need to do something that will give her warm and fuzzy feelings about you!
Using a Kitchen Pass
You read that right - using a Kitchen Pass. This is a different thing than simply earning a kitchen pass and requires a completely different skill set. A Kitchen Pass is much like a coupon; it's not worth the paper it's printed on until it's used and they both have expiration dates. A Kitchen Pass is only valid as long as her feeling of euphoria lasts. This means that they can rarely be accumulated and, most of the time, must be used quickly. The undoing of most of us is that we invariably pull some bonehead maneuver before the transaction is complete. Sometimes something as simple as forgetting to relay a phone message can be a deal killer. As time passes it becomes increasingly likely that we won't notice something that should be noticed or won't compliment something that should be complimented. Even worse is complimenting something that shouldn't be complimented. Have you ever told her she looks great on a day she thinks she looks awful? I thought so. This can result in a pass deficit situation immediately. There is no one sure-fire way to use the pass. You will get better with experience (until menopause; then you have to start over). Until then, act quickly.
Keep in touch with Dr. TB and let us know about your progress.
Tight Lines,
Dr. TB
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Last Updated ( Sunday, 02 March 2008 23:49 )
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